Why is true love so difficult to obtain? Maybe you think you have it, but if it’s one sided, is it really true? Is it possible to make someone love you and stay by your side for better or worse? After all, isn’t that what the papers say?
I don’t know why this is happening to me. Where did I go wrong? Did I do wrong? Building a good family has been a dream for me. I love kids. I love loving another person as much as I do. Why can’t I make it real? Can I? I have gone through so much, don’t I deserve happiness? What about me in all this?
Maybe it’s my disease. That’s just one more burden she doesn’t want to deal with. I don’t like being a burden on anyone. I don’t want to be carried around anymore. I need to change. I need to love me first before she can really love me. I’m not happy with my past flaws, and I’m praying they stay as “past flaws”.
Who knows, it’s probably too late already. I’m never going to find any one else as special as she. I have to be prepared to live my life alone. It’s not something I want, but I can’t make someone stay. I hope she figures it all out, and I hope it’s in my favor. I just don’t think it is. I’m sure all he has to say is the words that he will care for her and her kids, and she is gone. Just like that. Everything ends. Sad thing is that it’s not in my control.
For unspoken reasons, I no longer root for the Indianapolis Colts.